the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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