i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
