I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
they need to just BURY HIM!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
