Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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