just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize