Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
