she was so not down for the gang bang
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
