she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
