She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Everything about him screamed your future.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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