And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
