if only i could text you this smell
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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