I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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