I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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