There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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