i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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