What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
