just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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