Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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