Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
