as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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