I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ttyl tear gas
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
