How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
