every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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