It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
