One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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