no. you can't hotbox the world.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
