I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
