wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
