theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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