I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
