Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
