Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Randomize
