There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
