Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
