Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize