i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
