i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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