dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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