I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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