are you still at the devil's house?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
