We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
