Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize