Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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