Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
