She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
