You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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