We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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