I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
