I love black thongs
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
