I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Randomize
