there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
