So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize