Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found your dick twin last night
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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