I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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