lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
