This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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