fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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