I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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