Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
