what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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