Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
