is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
