she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
