And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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