WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
