Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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